MAKING A SELFISH DECISION IN A RELATIONSHIP

When it comes to relationships making selfish decisions is not a bad a idea most especially when  it comes to major decisions. Sometimes we are given an opportunity to explore our hope dreams and visions for our lives and look at our relationships and come up with a conclusion either we still want to date this person or not.

Our problem as people lie on exalting our partners dreams, visions, need and wants far beyond ours, we put them first that we even forget what we want in life. We are a generation of bliss but bliss comes with a responsibility and hard work, we need to be faithful to ourselves,  we need to be selfish and think for us that them.We shouldn't have sex and go out or stay home because that's what our partners want but we should have the freedom to do what we want for ourselves.

I had a conversation with the person I am dating because I  belived that I had to speak in order to heal, because I was becoming depressed and unsettled,  I also started feeling like our relationship is a job and I hate working extra hours.  I had to speak my heart and put aside how I feel about her and tell her about what I am expecting as a man not only in this relationship but in life.

There are five things that I have mentioned below that I want to talk about and some of those things I myself said them to my girlfriend and it became an eye opener for both her and I. It is not bad to talk about your priorities as man and woman.

1. What are your priorities?
2. What is it that you want from this?
3. Where am I now?
4. Where are  you going in life?
5. Are you willing to climb along or are you moving on?

WHAT ARE YOUR PRIORITIES?

It is imperative to know and understand what is important now in you're partners life, what is he doing that is keeping him busy and is he going to focus and spend time in that thing or is he just going through another phase. You understanding what is important to him will show you where he puts you and how serious he takes you.

WHAT IS IT THAT YOU WANT FROM THIS?

People have a problem with making selfish decisions in a relationship but I believe that making that selfish decision will allow you to value your needs and wants, it will also teach you not to settle with what you think is or will be ok for your life. If you want marriage from this relationship and he doesn't want to marry then leave him. Not to say you hate him but clearly both your priorities differ, you have nothing in common, DO NOT WORK ON WHAT IS DEFINITELY NOT GOING TO WORK!  Tell him or her what you want and if you differ in vision make a selfish decision and move on.

WHERE AM I NOW? & WHERE ARE YOU GOING IN LIFE?

Knowing where you are in life will give you an idea on knowing what you want out of life and out of your relationship. Do not mess arround with your needs and wants because you may settle for less and after ten years of marriage you want divorce because you chose to settle.  We need to be selfish and put ourselves first and when the right time for marriage comes then you will be happy.Knowing where you are will also show you where you are heading and will help you to not give your partner what he/she needs instead you'll focus on what you need. It is important to build yourself in life and in this relationship or else everything you do will be pointless.

ARE YOU WILLING TO CLIMB ALONG OR ARE YOU MOVING ON?

Sometimes when our partners have told us what they want out of our relationship,maybe they might have said just sex, marriage, just a relationship or anything. If your heart is not there then do not conform to his needs because out there the is someone who wants what you want and you guys will marry because you are a match, do not conform but do what you need to do for your life to be simpler and better.

I have learned that relationships fail because of lack of communication and honesty. Like I said before being open will challenge your relationship and you will know each other. I do not write these to spite but to encourage and you'll make a decision. 

 Let us grow in wisdom, Knowledge and maturity so that we may know where to go from here or what to do from here. Be selfish and think for yourselves and you will be better and get a better man for you.

May you live a stress less life no matter what.

I am William 'Hlogi' Seitshiro and these are my words.